Family

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“I do not believe in the terrible twos” she said, back when her child was one

I have always (read before having a child) thought that “the terrible twos” label was just an excuse for letting small children get away with having tantrums in supermarkets or hitting/biting their fellow two year olds.

Well, in hindsight, what I can now say is that I’m sorry to all other parents for mistakenly judging you in the past. Parents of two year olds should be given enormous amounts of chocolate, hugs and gin as it sure isn’t easy!

Elliot turned two in December – so we’ve only just started in this minefield and already at times we genuinely feel like we’re walking on egg shells….always scared of the next seemingly normal situation thats actually going to tip him over the edge from beautiful, funny, clever Elliot into “the monster”?

These are just a few things we’ve had crying fits about this week (and its only Wednesday!):

  • Daddy put socks on him (how cruel!)
  • He wanted milk in a different cup
  • The Thomas and Friends we were watching was wrong (this happens frequently!)
  • He couldn’t tell us which book he wanted
  • He didn’t want a bath, and when in the bath he didn’t want to get out
  • He wanted yoghurt before his lunch
  • He wanted a drink, in the car, stuck in traffic, on the way home from nursery (emergency drinks have now been squirrelled away in the car for this purpose)
  • He wanted a “mummy cuddle”, again while in the car (I do yoga but am not quite that bendy – anyone know where Inspector Gadget got those arms??)

So you see, I’m starting to (shh…don’t tell anyone…) believe that there’s something in the labeling of terrible twos. At least it gives us mums and dads some hope that in 12 months it will be over??

So next time you see a mum or dad gazing anxiously around while their little darling demonstrates his/her frustration in a public place, smile nicely and don’t judge. We’re doing our best, honestly!

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Angel

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Monster

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23 months and counting…

Dear Elliot,

Wow! In exactly one month you will be officially a two-year old. How did that happen so fast?

I now realise what so many people have told me in the past. It goes so fast! Maybe it’s because I’ve been back at work for the past year, but 2012 has gone so amazingly quickly I barely feel like I’ve had time to catch my breath, let alone keep up with this blog.

My new years resolution will therefore be to document our lives a bit more regularly. I find myself waiting for the ‘important things’ to happen for me to write about, when in truth I should be writing about every little thing you’re doing – like how you can now recite the Thomas the Tank Engine theme tune, or do the actions to ‘Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes’, how you know your alphabet and can count to 12, and how you say ‘night, night’ every night as you rest your head on your pillow. You are amazing and I promise to take notes more regularly in future so we can all remember how fab you were aged 2!

In the meantime, one of my favourite pictures from Summer 2012, for reasons that you’ll understand one day when you’re a big boy.

All my love,

Mummy xxx

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I wish I’d known… Mummy tips

My sister gave birth earlier this month to my first niece- she is absolutely the most beautiful thing ever!

It got me thinking back to the early days with Elliot and noting all the things I know now that I wish someone had told me back then:

1. If you’re anything like me, do not pay any heed to any Gina Ford “you must eat toast at precisely 7.48 am”/ “place the drowsy, but awake, baby in his crib in the complete darkness no later than 6.30pm” types. The Contented Baby book stays in a pile of discarded shoes/ bags under our bed in our house, only to be dragged out whenever I just need to check if E is drinking enough milk! I personally feel that trying to shoehorn your baby into that strict a routine is bound to end in tears (yours most likely!) In my limited experience I’d say let the baby be the guide for feeds etc for certainly the first few weeks. You’ll then probably find that you can keep them going for 3 hours between the start of one feed and the next, even if they start looking hungry after 2 or 2 1/2 hours- we found that jiggling Elliot around/ rocking him/ putting a clean finger in his mouth made him last that little bit longer and soon he knew that he’d be fed every 3 hours.

2. Breast feeding is really tough, and doesn’t work for everyone. I managed to breast feed E for almost 9 months, with the last 3 months down to 2 feeds a day and supplemented with formula. I may rile some breastfeeding advocates here but I was formula fed as a baby and so far have suffered no ill effects so have absolute confidence in saying that there is no need to be a martyr to the breastfeeding cause for any longer than you feel you can. It really won’t harm your child to supplement with formula or feed 100% from a bottle. After all if that means a happier mummy I think I know what the baby would choose if it could talk.

3. Regardless of breast or bottle, make sure you share the load- express and get your partner (if possible!) to do the last feed before midnight and get yourself to bed early. This worked a treat in our house. I got to sleep and my husband got to watch QI and Top Gear on Dave! Win-win!

4. Trust your instincts. The baby hasn’t read any parenting books do you can’t expect it to follow any of the advice/ routines contained therein. I definitely think there’s no harm in making it up as you go along!

5. Best bit of advice I was given: your baby needs to be left alone for a while every day, obviously in your sight – in a bouncy chair in the room with you or Moses basket with some bright toys to look at – so that it learns that it doesn’t need to be held all the time. Also gives your arms a rest and allows you to drink a hot cup of tea or type an email!

6. Keep night-time dark and day-time light – try if possible to feed in the dark at night and only change a dirty nappy, if it’s just wet then leave it be – and then mark the morning by opening curtains and singing/ chatting animatedly. Do this from an early age and the baby will soon learn about sleeping through.

7. Right from the start, if I was at home during the day I’d put Elliot down for any day time sleeps in his big cot in the nursery rather than the Moses basket in our room. I think that this helped when he came to move in there at night as it wasn’t new and scary.

8. Sleep when your baby sleeps. I was RUBBISH at this and now kinda regret it as I’ve realised that with any future babies I’ll not have that luxury as I’ll have Elliot to entertain! Make the most of any opportunity to rest.

9. Go out with your friends. As soon as you feel able to. Even if it’s just for an hour. It makes you feel human again, honestly. Do this often!!

10. Make time for your partner too. Book a babysitter (you’ll probably have people falling over eachother to offer) and go to the pub for a drink, yet again 1 hour is enough to save your sanity (though you will talk about your child for 90% of the time you are out!)

Finally, it’s always worth remembering that however exhausted you are at the beginning, it honestly doesn’t last forever. You’ll feel totally different in a matter of weeks, I promise. That first smile makes all these hard weeks worth it!

What did you wish you knew before having children?

Xxx

Elliot and Mummy – aged 2 weeks

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Six months in one blog!
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Six months in one blog!

In case you’ve not kept a note Elliot, since my last blog the following has happened:
1 – In November I went back to work, in a new role which is really exciting and will hopefully be made permanent sometime soon (this means my days of travelling the globe are done but now you’re around I’m happy with that!)
2 – as a consequence of 1, you’ve been in nursery 2 days a week since October and with your Grandparents for 2 additional days. This is working really well. After a couple of months in the baby room you moved up to Toddler 1 and are loving the fun and games that go on there. Nursery has taught you how to feed yourself – which you are now excellent at, and you’re so nearly there on the walking! I can’t wait for those first steps! You are also developing a good set of gardening skills (see picture!)
3 – you turned one in December, my dear lovely boy. You’re growing up so fast.
4 – we took a holiday to France last month (April) and you loved all the food- especially sneaked bits of Mummy’s chocolate crepes and ice creams! The first of many family holidays, it was fabulous to spend an entire week with you!
5 – you’re going to be a cousin really soon- little one due this month. Hope they have as much fun and enjoyment as we’ve done. It has been lovely to pass on your baby things for them to use. You’ll have to teach your little cousin how to do lots of things, I really hope you’ll be the best of friends despite the distance.

Lots of love
Mummy xxx