To my baby son

As you lie here, asleep,
Completely encircled in my arms
Already so much bigger than you were
But just a fraction of the man you’ll be
I look at you and wonder at all the sights your eyes will see
All the sounds your ears will hear
All the places you will go, some near and some far
And I want to capture this night, lock it away in my head,
To remember when my arms were the place you longed to be
For in no time you’ll be grown and too big for your mummy to hold

My son, it is impossible to capture in words
All the love I have in my heart
You, like your brother,
will be my life’s work
I hope I do you proud.



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On breastfeeding in public

I’m coming up for air (literally!) after a weekend which has been spent mostly moving between our living room and the bathroom with our three year old as we (finally) try to crack potty training – more on that another time perhaps.

Anyway, back to the reason I’m here – I felt like chiming in to the pro-breastfeeding in public debate that’s currently raging on most social media after a Sports Direct store in Nottingham allegedly demanded that a woman leave the store purely because she had sat down and started to breastfeed her baby son.

Breastfeeding is really tough. My journey with it has taken two forms – one for each of my children. With Elliot, my first, it was plain sailing for a while but after a few weeks I began to find it quite hard. There was pain, tears and a crying baby much of the time, and I spent days with blocked ducts wishing he was bottle fed but at the same time not wanting to stop just yet. I bribed myself weekly to just make it another week – partly because I didn’t know how to stop without causing more pain, and also aware of the guilt I may feel if I did. Eventually we mixed fed him from about 4 months until a fateful day in month 8 or 9 where he bit me and that was it. No more boob. To be honest, he didn’t bat an eyelid. As long as food reached him in some form, he was happy. I wish I’d realised this sooner.

With Alexander it’s been a different story. After a few ouchy days to start off, we’ve settled into feeding so well that I now have an issue where he simply refuses a bottle, so I’m stuck. Unable to go out, or leave him anywhere for longer than about 2 hours. Oops.

But back to the debate in hand. I feel so awful for the woman in question. You are really pretty vulnerable when feeding in public – despite the obvious fact that you’ve got your boob out (enough to make most people feel at least a bit self conscious), you’ve also got the issue of a hungry, and therefore probably not the quietest, baby to deal with which inevitably brings the attention of 99% of the people in the area all focusing on you. As a mum it can be really hard to block this out long enough to shush your baby whilst getting a bit of your body, that you don’t really want to be waving about, out whilst covering enough of it so as not to draw attention. Oh and of course this is mostly done with one hand if you’re also holding said crying baby with the other. Add to that keeping an eye on any other kids you may have to make sure they’re not running off/talking to strangers/throwing themselves under buses etc, and you’ve got yourselves a headache of a situation. Quite frankly it’s way easier to stay at home. But we don’t, of course, and that’s why Sports Direct should be so ashamed of their staff members involved. Let’s not add another reason to the already huge list which makes feeding our babies in public the ridiculous obstacle it is today, shall we?

After all, if she’d been feeding the baby from a bottle, would we even be having this debate?


A letter of apology

To the future girlfriend/wife/life- partner of my currently-3-year-old son,

Hello. Nice to meet you. I’m sure we’ll get along just fine but I feel like I must first apologise for some rather strange habits that I fear you may have to learn to live with in your choice of partner.

Believe me I have tried everything to persuade him to drop these delightful traits but, as you probably know by now, your boyfriend of choice is pretty strong willed!

So, if you are serious about this, you’ll need to get used to the following:

– The first meal he will have made you (and probably most meals you have together actually) will undoubtedly consist of fish fingers and chips or a Dairylea Dunker. There will not be a vegetable in sight, so forget all hopes of getting your five- (or seven-) a-day whilst in this relationship. You may consider taking vitamin supplements. He may also ask you to feed him. You know, his arms lose all ability to function whenever there is someone else with arms around to rely on. Sorry about that. Please remember to cool down any hot food by blowing on the spoon…
– Any new suggestion is likely to be met with an immediate “No” response, usually supported by one of the following reasons:
* I’m too tired
* I’ll do it tomorrow
* I’m not happy
* I don’t like it
This applies to EVERYTHING! Literally. Good luck trying to get around these.
– The above means that it is likely that your choice of partner will wear holes in shoes rather than buy new ones, not want to wear short sleeved tops without a long sleeved top on top AT ALL TIMES and generally always want to wear what he wore yesterday rather than anything clean…
– N.B. The one exception to the above is when a visit to a soft play area, or a trip to the swings and slides, is suggested. This generally always elicits a “Yes”
– You’ll need to be proficient in your knowledge of Thomas and Friends characters. Heaven help you if you get Henry confused with Percy! Knowing storylines is also important as he likes to play “guess the engine” at regular intervals and will correct any errors with a sigh. You have been warned.
– In addition to the point above, get used to watching endless YouTube videos of people covering Thomas engines in PlayDoh and pushing them off tables. It is important that this is thought of as “fun”

Despite all this, he is still I hope a pretty cute guy, and has a heart of gold. It is true, his mother does love him!

Good luck. If you ever need any moral support, you’re welcome round here anytime. I’ll have the kettle on.

With love,
Your future mother-in-law xx




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Siblings – April

Oh my, where has that month gone? I’m a day late with my siblings photo this month because it simply came round too quickly!





This month has seen a major development in the boys’ relationship – cuddles!!

Elliot is desperate to hug and cuddle Alexander and loves to crouch down next to his bouncy chair or car seat and hug him. He comes and finds us after his bath to give Alexander a goodnight hug and kiss, and sometimes to read him a book (the Stripy Horse ones are favourites right now)

We’ve just got a second hand inline double buggy (our three year old still needs naps and is quite adamant about when he doesn’t want to walk!) and its given me a new sense of freedom. I can go out into town with them both on my own and Elliot has the option of walking or being in the buggy. It was whilst out with them both that I overheard Elliot looking over the side of the buggy, at Alexander who sits behind him, saying “are you alright down there Alex?”

I love my boys!

As usual do take a look at the other siblings photos from this month by following the link below.

dear beautiful

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