Reasons I work…

Today when we collected the boys from nursery, we were told that Alexander (aged 14 months) had taken some steps unaided.

I smiled, made happy “well done Alexander” noises, and left.

What i didn’t say was that those were his very first unaided steps, and that as I was actually at work all day I’d therefore missed this amazing milestone in my little boy’s development.

This is the first milestone of his I’ve missed, and I feel really mixed emotions about it. I know there’ll be many more steps to follow those first ones, but since I’m feeling low I thought I should remind myself of the reasons why I work, in the hope that when my boys are old enough to read this they’ll understand too…

1. Because we couldn’t afford our house, and lifestyle, if i didn’t

We could live on beans on toast every day I suppose, and we could forsake all family days out too. To be honest we don’t have that many of them even now (two kids in childcare is not cheap!), but even so. This year we’re trying to be much better about having actual days out, and were given National Trust membership for Christmas which we’re making full use out of.

We bought our house 6 years ago and have had work done on it recently to create a third bedroom. The house is an old Edwardian terrace “cottage”, in all honesty it was probably more than we needed at the time, but I saw the tiles on the floor in the hallway and the handmade front door and that was it. We had to have it. Though we possibly could live somewhere cheaper, it would take an awful lot (including a utility room that we currently lack!) to make me even contemplate moving!

2. I don’t have the patience to be a stay at home mamma

I feel awful admitting this. Whilst I have the utmost respect for stay at home parents, and follow their adventures avidly through other blogs, I’m just not certain that it’s for me. Their routines have a great number of fun-looking groups and clubs that I really wish I had the time to take my boys to, but full time? I just think I’d end up shouting WAY too much. I do have Fridays off but these get crammed full with shopping, house chores and Tumbletots classes that we can’t possibly fit anything else in. I also think that the time we spend apart makes the time we are together much more special, or maybe that’s just something I tell myself?

3. Secretly, I want to? 

I don’t think I could give up my career, not that I’m particularly high flying or anything, but to step off the ladder completely would scare me. I’d worry about whether I’d ever manage to step back on, and how many rungs I’d have to climb to get back to where I am currently.

I enjoy my job. I really do. I get to work with people I’m lucky enough to get along really well with, and who seem to respect and value me as much as I do them. I have worked in the same company for over 10 years and can’t see myself leaving any time soon.

So there we are, seems like you can’t have your cake and eat it. You can’t be a working mum and still be there for all milestones. I just need to keep my mind on the fact that I’ll be there for enough of them, hopefully.

Equally, as one of my friends reminded me today – at least today has given me the heads up to keep my camera with me at all times to capture Alexander’s first steps for me. They may not be his very first, but they will be mine.

MommyMemes_LeaveThemAtHome-MargaretCB

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Siblings {February}

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It’s that time of year again when I dress my boys in green, and occasionally white, and we support Ireland and England (in more or less equal measure) in the Rugby Six Nations.

I don’t think the boys look too impressed in this photo but it’s a funny one so perfect for this month’s Siblings post!

Elliot and Alexander have been navigating a new side to their friendship this last month, in that Alexander is now getting more active and just wants to do whatever it is that Elliot is doing. He idolises his big brother and it’s as cute for us to watch as it is annoying for poor Elliot who just wants to get on with playing “World’s Strongest Engine” by himself!!
(If you don’t know what that is I suggest you try youtube – it’s a Thomas thing!)

On a brighter note, we’ve all been enjoying Alexander learning the actions to “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” – he’s so cute with it and seems to be most pleased with himself too!

As always I’m joining in with the Siblings linky over on Dear Beautiful Boy. Why not go and take a look?

dear beautiful

Siblings {January}

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So we’re into a new year, and a new series of Siblings posts. Looking back I can’t believe how much life has changed since the very first Siblings post, last January.

It’s still so clear how much our two little guys love each other, over and above the rest of us. They light up in each others company and love to laugh together.
I’m really looking forward to watching their relationship grow this year. It’s a big year for us – Elliot will start school in September and I’m not entirely sure that I’m ready for that, though I’m absolutely 100% sure that he’ll be ready, if he’s not already!

Another exciting development is that I’ve finally given in and bought a DSLR, so have lots to learn. Hopefully the photos around here will start to look much better soon! The next problem is to get the two of them to stay still long enough to take a good photo. These two are so active all the time, that the perfect picture only lasts for a millisecond! Any tips gratefully received.

dear beautiful
Alexander at 1 – a New Years Eve round up

Alexander at 1 – a New Years Eve round up

Dear Alexander,

You are one, my littlest boy. 12 months and a few days have passed since you came into our lives, on a very peaceful Monday morning. You have remained peaceful throughout (most of!) your life so far and you are honestly a delight to be with.

You continue to develop at lightening speed, crawling way before your brother did and no doubt you will be walking before he did too. We bought your first shoes today and you promptly showed them off by walking holding my fingers for ages.

Some of the best things you are capable of at the moment are kisses and cuddles – you’re so affectionate to everyone. The ladies at your nursery are as smitten with you as I am. The best person by far in your eyes is your big bro Elliot. Long may that continue. I can see you being best of friends forever.

I love you my giggly cuddly little man. Nothing makes me happier than to see you smile.

Lots of love, forever,

Mummy xxx

 

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Elliot at 4 – a New Years Eve round up

Dear my beautiful boy Elliot,

A couple of weeks ago you turned four. Four whole years old. Even as I write this I can’t fathom how these last few years have passed so quickly, yet equally I can barely remember a time before you.

Four years ago you made me a mummy, and I’ve loved every minute (or most of them anyway!)

In order to stop time for a second, I want to capture you right now – the things you like and what we really love about that quirky little personality of yours. So here goes. 4 things about Elliot aged 4:

1. You LOVE your friends and family. Your absolute favourite thing to do is to visit your cousins, see your grandparents, or have play dates with your friends. You regularly try to plan these – “er, mummy, tomorrow can we go camping with Ben?” or “I’m going to visit Una tomorrow. We’ll go on the train” Normally this is mid week when it’s not possible to fulfil your dreams, but we do try to make sure you spend time with everyone you love most in all the world. And guess what? I think they all love it too!

2. You are an AMAZING big brother. Alexander thinks you’re the bee’s knees and I suspect the feeling is mutual. You both seem happiest when you’re together and I’ve loved seeing your relationship grow and develop over the past year. I can’t believe I was ever really worried about how you’d cope with a new sibling. You’ve blown us away with how well you’ve handled it all.

3. You love books, and spelling – who knew three year olds can spell?! You’ve absolutely mastered reading, and can now read any word on sight, including dinosaur names (which you’re slightly obsessed by!) I’m so excited about you really getting into books as I have always had my head in a book and feel that the escapism it offers you will set you in good stead for the rest of your life. I hope you continue to grow more in love with fictional worlds and the vast amount of information you can find for yourself in the pages of books!
In a conversation the other day, I mentioned to you that most 3 and 4 year olds can’t read as well as you do, and you just said “oh” and then when I said you were clever you replied with “I know” and a wink!

4. Sense of humour. You find the funniest things funny and your laugh is absolutely addictive! Coupled with the cute little dance you do when you’re happy, you really make it clear when something you like is going on!
I really hope that in the next year you develop even more in terms of self confidence. We’ve already seen lots of changes in this regard in the last few months so I’m hopeful that the next year, including starting school next September will be the turning point for your confidence levels. You’re loved by your close group of friends, and I’m sure you will be loved by many more in the months and years to come.

Here’s to the next year my little big boy. You make me proud every day.

Lots of love always,
Mummy xxx

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