To my eldest boy

Dear Elliot

Tomorrow morning we will find out which Primary School you will go to in September. We’ve known this was coming but it always seemed far away enough to forget about. We’re now just a few months away from you becoming a school boy. That suddenly seems far too close for comfort.

I have been a working mama since you were 10 months old, bar the time I was on maternity leave with Alexander, so I know that in essence things are not going to be too different – I’ll be working and you’ll be at school instead of nursery/pre-school, but it just seems so final. This is the end of your baby days, you’ll no longer be a pre-schooler. It’s a huge change.

You’re so absolutely ready for school. I have no concerns at all over your ability to settle in and do well. You can read way above what would normally be expected at your age. You actually asked me today why I suggested you put your finger along the words as you read, and you’re quite right, you don’t need to as you read by sight absolutely perfectly. You read with appropriate emphasis on voices, questions and exclamations. It’s amazing how you’ve just got it! We feel incredibly proud of you.

You are fascinated by numbers too, and like to set us maths problems – “what is 156 take away 19 mummy?”

I look forward to seeing you grow in confidence when you settle in with friends who you’ll be with for your school life. I’m hoping that some of your pre-school friends will be going to the same school, so that will be a good transition.

We’re working hard with you at the moment to get you ready in other ways, taking yourself to the bathroom, and getting yourself dressed and undressed. You’ve basically got it nailed in just a few days.

So, I guess there’s nothing much for me to be concerned about. As usual it’s more painful for me than it is for you. Time to let you fly the nest a little, just remember I’m always ALWAYS here for you.

Lots of love,

Mummy xxx

A mummy cuddle

Siblings {April}

On the eve before we find out about Elliot’s Primary School place (that’s a whole other post!) I’m finally getting round to this month’s siblings post. It’s true I blog like buses…none for ages and then lots at once (probably contravening every “How to be a brilliant blogger” rule there is, but hey ho!)

Anyway, this month’s photo was taken on a really lovely family visit to Cogges Farm. I’ve blogged about Cogges before, and we continue to feel so lucky to have the farm literally on our door step.

Brothers on a swing

This month has seen lots of changes in our house as we now have a walker! Alexander has been steadily getting better on his feet and now walks the majority of the time. It is amazing how quickly he’s got the hang of walking, from taking first steps only a few weeks ago. He’s beaten Elliot’s record of 17 months (not exactly difficult, but they do say good things come to those who wait!)

Elliot is also adding more things to his list of “things he can do” – wordsearches are current favourites for indoor activities, and zooming everywhere on his scooter (with new Spiderman helmet WITH FLASHING LIGHT) is the BEST way of getting around outdoors. I kinda wish I had a grown up scooter to be able to join him!

As usual I’m linking up with Lucy at Dear Beautiful so do check out the other lovely blogs there.

dear beautiful

My beautiful boys

I’ve taken a couple of lovely photos of the boys recently that I really wanted to share on here. I’m not a particularly good photographer, and it’s something I’m really keen to work on. These two were actually both taken on my trusty iPhone (remind me why I spent £300 on a DSLR in January?!)

Anyway, I think they really capture my little boys at this stage in their lives.

Alexander
Cuddles are still in favour (long may that last!) – he likes to cuddle everything! He has been pretty poorly with ongoing colds recently so cuddles have been accompanied by lots of nose wiping. The working mum’s nightmare of snot trails on shoulders that I only notice when I’m in a meeting, have happened more often than I’d like recently, but hey ho.
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Elliot
This photo was taken while he and I spent some time den building at Charlecote park a few weeks ago. I love his little cheeky smile. He’s developing a real curiosity about him – always asking questions! I really need to do some swotting up to get answers ready!

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Photos like this remind me how very much I love these two and feel so lucky each day to be their Mama.. even when they’re trying my patience and refusing to put shoes on/be put down (which is actually most of the time at the moment..it’s a phase right?!)

Siblings {March}

March has been a month of Rugby Six Nations watching, Mother’s Day relaxing (thank you Mr P for an uber relaxing day!), dining room redecorating and holiday planning (or at least thinking about!)

We’ve not had much of a chance for pictures but I’ve chosen these ones from Mother’s Day morning. This was my breakfast in bed, which ended up being shared three ways with my two littlies, who were dressed by Daddy in matching #1 Brother t-shirts from GAP. (Ignore the state of our bedroom, and my random PJs!)

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As always I’m joining in with the Siblings linky over on Dear Beautiful Boy. Why not go and take a look?

dear beautiful

Reasons I work…

Today when we collected the boys from nursery, we were told that Alexander (aged 14 months) had taken some steps unaided.

I smiled, made happy “well done Alexander” noises, and left.

What i didn’t say was that those were his very first unaided steps, and that as I was actually at work all day I’d therefore missed this amazing milestone in my little boy’s development.

This is the first milestone of his I’ve missed, and I feel really mixed emotions about it. I know there’ll be many more steps to follow those first ones, but since I’m feeling low I thought I should remind myself of the reasons why I work, in the hope that when my boys are old enough to read this they’ll understand too…

1. Because we couldn’t afford our house, and lifestyle, if i didn’t

We could live on beans on toast every day I suppose, and we could forsake all family days out too. To be honest we don’t have that many of them even now (two kids in childcare is not cheap!), but even so. This year we’re trying to be much better about having actual days out, and were given National Trust membership for Christmas which we’re making full use out of.

We bought our house 6 years ago and have had work done on it recently to create a third bedroom. The house is an old Edwardian terrace “cottage”, in all honesty it was probably more than we needed at the time, but I saw the tiles on the floor in the hallway and the handmade front door and that was it. We had to have it. Though we possibly could live somewhere cheaper, it would take an awful lot (including a utility room that we currently lack!) to make me even contemplate moving!

2. I don’t have the patience to be a stay at home mamma

I feel awful admitting this. Whilst I have the utmost respect for stay at home parents, and follow their adventures avidly through other blogs, I’m just not certain that it’s for me. Their routines have a great number of fun-looking groups and clubs that I really wish I had the time to take my boys to, but full time? I just think I’d end up shouting WAY too much. I do have Fridays off but these get crammed full with shopping, house chores and Tumbletots classes that we can’t possibly fit anything else in. I also think that the time we spend apart makes the time we are together much more special, or maybe that’s just something I tell myself?

3. Secretly, I want to? 

I don’t think I could give up my career, not that I’m particularly high flying or anything, but to step off the ladder completely would scare me. I’d worry about whether I’d ever manage to step back on, and how many rungs I’d have to climb to get back to where I am currently.

I enjoy my job. I really do. I get to work with people I’m lucky enough to get along really well with, and who seem to respect and value me as much as I do them. I have worked in the same company for over 10 years and can’t see myself leaving any time soon.

So there we are, seems like you can’t have your cake and eat it. You can’t be a working mum and still be there for all milestones. I just need to keep my mind on the fact that I’ll be there for enough of them, hopefully.

Equally, as one of my friends reminded me today – at least today has given me the heads up to keep my camera with me at all times to capture Alexander’s first steps for me. They may not be his very first, but they will be mine.

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