To the future girlfriend/wife/life- partner of my currently-3-year-old son,
Hello. Nice to meet you. I’m sure we’ll get along just fine but I feel like I must first apologise for some rather strange habits that I fear you may have to learn to live with in your choice of partner.
Believe me I have tried everything to persuade him to drop these delightful traits but, as you probably know by now, your boyfriend of choice is pretty strong willed!
So, if you are serious about this, you’ll need to get used to the following:
– The first meal he will have made you (and probably most meals you have together actually) will undoubtedly consist of fish fingers and chips or a Dairylea Dunker. There will not be a vegetable in sight, so forget all hopes of getting your five- (or seven-) a-day whilst in this relationship. You may consider taking vitamin supplements. He may also ask you to feed him. You know, his arms lose all ability to function whenever there is someone else with arms around to rely on. Sorry about that. Please remember to cool down any hot food by blowing on the spoon…
– Any new suggestion is likely to be met with an immediate “No” response, usually supported by one of the following reasons:
* I’m too tired
* I’ll do it tomorrow
* I’m not happy
* I don’t like it
This applies to EVERYTHING! Literally. Good luck trying to get around these.
– The above means that it is likely that your choice of partner will wear holes in shoes rather than buy new ones, not want to wear short sleeved tops without a long sleeved top on top AT ALL TIMES and generally always want to wear what he wore yesterday rather than anything clean…
– N.B. The one exception to the above is when a visit to a soft play area, or a trip to the swings and slides, is suggested. This generally always elicits a “Yes”
– You’ll need to be proficient in your knowledge of Thomas and Friends characters. Heaven help you if you get Henry confused with Percy! Knowing storylines is also important as he likes to play “guess the engine” at regular intervals and will correct any errors with a sigh. You have been warned.
– In addition to the point above, get used to watching endless YouTube videos of people covering Thomas engines in PlayDoh and pushing them off tables. It is important that this is thought of as “fun”
Despite all this, he is still I hope a pretty cute guy, and has a heart of gold. It is true, his mother does love him!
Good luck. If you ever need any moral support, you’re welcome round here anytime. I’ll have the kettle on.
With love,
Your future mother-in-law xx
I’ve linked up to @HonestMummy’s #BrilliantBlogPosts linkup– do take a look at the other posts.
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Letters to Elliot (& Alexander too!) 
LOL love this! What a great post and lovely little things to remember!
Thanks – really didn’t want to forget the lovely awkwardness of this stage 🙂
This is absolutely hilarious and had me laughing out loud. You have to actually give this to a future girlfriend!! SO funny. I must write these for my little ones…
I think pigs might fly before we get to the girlfriend stage – seriously Thomas the tank engine on repeat and smothering everything with mayonnaise before eating it aren’t exactly girlfriend attracting activities…still, there’s time I guess! Thanks for reading 🙂
I love this. So funny to look back on in a few years and to indeed show girlfriends
Thanks for commenting. I do think a note like this from mother in laws is clearly the way forward…
😀 My oldest adoredThomas and I knew all of them off by heart. Now he’s 20 and neither of us can remember them. I dare say when he eventually cooks for a girl though it is likely to be dairylea dunkers or ALDI £1 pizza 😀
Mmm pizza and dairylea dunker, sure fire way to secure the love of a good woman! I really do need to reach my kid to cook don’t I?
Ha! I love this! Great idea for a post. Thanks for linking up with the Bad Mums Club! x
Think I definitely qualify for Bad Mums Club – this is just the tip of the ice burg!
I have a three year old son too, I would like to apologise to his future wife that he will probably still be dressed as Batman aged 36 😉
Ha! Would love to see a 36 year old dressed up as Batman just generally going about his business…the world would be a much better place!
What a fabulous post haha! I bet you look forward to day you can show this to her when the time comes, lol #Brilliantblogposts x
Thanks! There has to be some positives to such a stubborn child 😉 x
I’d DEFO save this and actually read it out at his wedding haha!
#brilliantblogposts would love it if you came over and said hi! carsonsmummy.blogspot.co.uk xx
I think I will! Will pop over and say hi too 🙂 x
Aww I’m sure he will grow up to make a great partner really, and grow out of the dairy lea dunkers obsession! My kids have the Thomas on youtube obsession too 🙂
Oh man, what IS it about Thomas on youtube? I just can’t get my head around the fact that people actually make these videos…
haha fab, but I don’t want my boys to have future girlfriends and wives (wails) 🙂 Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts. Do link back if you can
Very true! Can’t begin to think about future girlfriends…